Once upon a time, I was given a beautiful baby boy.  I expected the ‘perfect, healthy boy’ that each parent proudly announces.  And yes he was!!!  But little did I know, I was about to play ‘how badly do you want that perfect, healthy boy’ game of parenting and I’m guessing you’ve probably entered that black hole here and there with your children too!

The challenges begin

Sleep

Before I knew it, I had a baby that had sleep issues.  I struggled with the lack of sleep but trusted that ‘things would change’.  I didn’t quite have the ‘perfect, healthy boy’.  But we ended up at sleep school only just in time to save my sanity.  I would have said the ‘how badly do you want the perfect, healthy boy’ game was over.   But…!

Skin

My son also had skin issues that plagued me.  It was eczema, it was lesions, it was strange dots.  It was irritation in the genitals.   I didn’t even notice the dark circles around his eyes or the inflamed and uneven skin tone on his face.  I played that game for a looong time.  And I still do, but I am a skilled player now!  Food or chemical intolerances, possibly even emotional stress and otherwise parasites and candida.  I have learned that this game is never really over.  We just need to understand our bodies and their signs.

Brain

But just to make sure I said those ‘perfect, healthy’ words more carefully with the birth of my second son, my first son also had difficulties with his brain.  It was brain fog or ‘ADHD’, whatever you want to call it.  He could not concentrate on my words without losing focus mid-sentence.  He could not play by himself for longer than five minutes.  It was ‘quick’ entertainment for his stimulation – pulling down washing, ripping books or smashing through toys.  He struggled to even hold eye contact whilst we looked at him, let alone be thoughtful of others.  This was not ‘perfect and healthy’ to me.

Now this one has been my game of chess.  There is so much complexity when helping a child to use their brain in the best way possible.  Reducing inflammation by removing culprit foods and chemicals, watching my stress levels that were spilling over to my son and understanding his brain’s need for creativity, imagination, alone time, crazy time and just the right stimulation.  Like anyone studying the brain, I have a lot more to learn and I now invite Master 6 to play this game of ‘chess’ with me, to help me learn even more.  He is starting to understand his own needs.

I could go on and on.  The low immunity game is one game I feel that I have won.  But would I say my son is ‘healthy’?  I know we still have more to learn and the whole world is constantly learning more about what is healthy, so maybe not.  But I know one thing.

Saying no to guilt

I am doing the best that I can, with what I know.  When I know better, I can do better.  And so I keep my mind open to learning more.  And with that, we find out other games we’re invited to and we learn how to play those.

As for perfect, well my definition is ‘just the right son for me’.  He always has been and always will be!

How has motherhood been for you, friend?  I would love to hear your stories – what is the one thing you did NOT see coming before motherhood began?  Leave a comment!

Heidi